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About Photography / Hobbyist Member ChrisMale/United States Recent Activity
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I guess all I ever wanted was you to for me what you didn't want to do for me. 

-not move- 

But give me that special attention you gave to a special other guys

Silly
I know 

I know you'd say you prolly gave me and (us) special attention moreso than what you have to others but still 

I never felt very special

We had our issues 

If you were to call me and ask me what happened almost 2 years later... I'd tell you this

It was perfect for the first 3 years
The first time I heard your voice I almost died of happiness 
The first time I saw you and held your hand I pretty much did die and couldn't live without you 

Something exactly about you 

Now the issues we had

--I started worrying you were lying to me
    /which caused me to investigate and I found not good things 

--you didn't get the physicalness from me and it's my fault 
    /this caused you to seek it out 

--I became jealous I guess and as we both know that's toxic

--we both fell away from each other

Ultimately the worst betrayal is the blood on my own hands I did the worst thing. But I wanted to die too. Because I was losing something that made me randomly smile.. Something that put me to a gentle sleep at night. Something that kept me warm when I'm sick.. Something that fought the darkness when I was lonely .. 

Sorry if I lost so much

I had hoped you lost something too but it never felt like you did

You just gained from losing me
A thicker skin
A new man

And some crazy story you can almost flaunt 



So far we are one strike to one strike 

I fought hard for us and I know you did too

You said one thing once to me .. 

Guilty Pleasure

I guess maybe we were too young? That is something you go through before you become serious

But every night I still dream your still here

When I awake you fade away 


I knew you for longer then any other human being in my life.
I trusted you, I confided in you I believed everything you told me and I was never disloyal to you EVER.
Until you mentioned the term.

    GUILTY PLEASURE

You said that to me. I acknowledged it and ran with it.
after that it was game over for both of us. I still miss you but I really believe nothing could revive what we had.
Honestly to tell you the truth, I would have take bullets for everything that mattered in your life.
I feel like because of your culture, which is a little bit more slum then average considering im moving up the middle class
of americans, that you just dont want anything better.

money will never be an issue to me. whether I have it or not.
and I will tell you KM I was so willing to move and do anything for you

the reason for these words and these letters now is because I AM damaged and I suppose I need serious help at this point
I will get help. do not worry i have appts soon, but its not fair what you did to me with your guilty pleasure.
for so many years secretly doing so many things behind my back.

You used to read this profile of mine, i doubt you do now, but one day i will publish something that shows the disgust you gave me for 5-6 years of my own damn life.
I have a publisher, and the truth will be spilt.

I hope you are living a joyful slum life. with your beloved joshua who i would die to meet if he is so much better then me having a linkdin track record of walmart on his resume.

good luck my ex lover.
sleep on it by IridiumEX
sleep on it
once a lock of love
now a broken piece of metal
from below to above
i was not about to settle
Loading...
I guess all I ever wanted was you to for me what you didn't want to do for me. 

-not move- 

But give me that special attention you gave to a special other guys

Silly
I know 

I know you'd say you prolly gave me and (us) special attention moreso than what you have to others but still 

I never felt very special

We had our issues 

If you were to call me and ask me what happened almost 2 years later... I'd tell you this

It was perfect for the first 3 years
The first time I heard your voice I almost died of happiness 
The first time I saw you and held your hand I pretty much did die and couldn't live without you 

Something exactly about you 

Now the issues we had

--I started worrying you were lying to me
    /which caused me to investigate and I found not good things 

--you didn't get the physicalness from me and it's my fault 
    /this caused you to seek it out 

--I became jealous I guess and as we both know that's toxic

--we both fell away from each other

Ultimately the worst betrayal is the blood on my own hands I did the worst thing. But I wanted to die too. Because I was losing something that made me randomly smile.. Something that put me to a gentle sleep at night. Something that kept me warm when I'm sick.. Something that fought the darkness when I was lonely .. 

Sorry if I lost so much

I had hoped you lost something too but it never felt like you did

You just gained from losing me
A thicker skin
A new man

And some crazy story you can almost flaunt 



So far we are one strike to one strike 

I fought hard for us and I know you did too

You said one thing once to me .. 

Guilty Pleasure

I guess maybe we were too young? That is something you go through before you become serious

But every night I still dream your still here

When I awake you fade away 


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Comments


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:iconpaltiel:
Paltiel Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014
Thankee for the point.

Enjoy the llama!  ^_^
:iconllamalaplz:
Reply
:iconeewill:
eewill Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the trade!
Reply
:iconphoenixrisingfromash:
PhoenixRisingFromAsh Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the trade! 
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
one sad thing for everyday, to remind myself who I am.
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
take my hand... walk with me
with your hand...set me free
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
is this where my soul is trapt? on a sheet of thin, fragile paper? written with a conduit so dull as my mind.
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner Jul 14, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
so suddenly, the pass of unforgiven
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner May 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Starting now I will be posting my work elsewhere, contact me for info
Reply
:iconsteampixy:
SteamPixy Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thank you for the favorite!
Reply
:iconnsolanki:
NSolanki Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   Photographer
Thank you for the favourite add :)
Reply
:iconcountessbloody:
CountessBloody Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2012
Thanks very much for the fav, I appreciate Greetings from France
Reply
:iconmonotoneminimal:
MonotoneMinimal Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012
Thx for faving :handshake:
Reply
:icondarkvoid42:
darkVOID42 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:iconbummy1::iconbummy2::iconbummy3::iconbummy1:
Thanks for faving AVUS !
Reply
:icondarkvoid42:
darkVOID42 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks also for the other favs and the :+devwatch:!
:squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee::squee:
Reply
:iconjpthart:
JPtHart Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Student Photographer
Thank you :aww:
Reply
:iconbens1n:
bens1n Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Student General Artist
Thanks for the favoritism! :)
Reply
:icondcphotographics:
DCPhotographics Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012  Professional Photographer
hi there! many thanks for the fav! glad to hear you enjoy my work :D:D
Reply
:iconiridiumex:
IridiumEX Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Your welcome. you do good work
Reply
:iconmelissaearl:
melissaearl Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:w00t!: Thank you so much for the :+fav: :w00t!:
Reply
:iconstefano-coltelli:
Stefano-Coltelli Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Thank you so much for the :+fav:! :)
Reply
:iconalexuba:
AlexUba Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thx for the fav! :)
Reply
:iconemiliebouvier:
EmilieBouvier Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav :heart: :hug:
Reply
:iconpenfold73:
penfold73 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011
Thanks for the fav
Reply
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